I am 22 going on 23 in a couple of months.
My life is like a blank canvas, with opportunities to do and experience so much.
This should be exciting, but sometimes it just intimidates me.
I don't know what to draw on this canvas.
I feel like I should know myself better, know my style better, before I put myself out there on the canvas for all the world to see.
But I also know that it's as I draw, as I step out that this process of knowing myself better will really get going.
I think I'm afraid of making any particular stroke on the canvas, lest it end up being a mistake and being un-doable, or at least if it's not a mistake, that what ends up on th canvas just isn't beautiful.
I want to have a beautiful life. I guess I just don't feel convinced that I can produce such a life.
Maybe that's why I am to hand the pencil, the brush over to the Artist.
But how exactly do I do this? How do I act courageously while putting my confidence in Him?
Can I trust that God wants to make a masterpiece out of my life?
Even with my stray marks and any well-intended but naive decisions?
Do I truly believe in a Lord who can redeem?
Do I trust Him with my life, with my heart?
Can I believe that He truly wants to make me and my life into something really good?
I want to. Oh Lord, how I want to.
Please help me to keep my eyes off of me, off of the darkness around me, off of the blank canvas, and onto you and your love and your glory.
Only then will I find hope, freedom, peace, joy.....and for these things I long so desperately.
I know it's ultimately up to me to paint this picture.
God, would you be my inspiration? Would you allow your colors, your life, your love, to flow through me to be displayed on my canvas?
I know I'll be okay if whatever ends up on my canvas is of You.