why are people okay with this association? with all of the craze behind movies like "fast and the furious" and games like "grand theft auto" I can't help but wonder. and sometimes, thinking about it can make me feel really angry.
a couple of weeks ago while waiting in line at CVS, my eyes were flooded with copies of the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated that were on display for everyone and their mothers and their little children to see. I'm still wrestling with what kind of emotional response is healthy for me to have in a moment like that. that day, the anger came quickly, and I wanted to yell, not at or to anyone in particular...women are NOT a sport, women are NOT something to possess, women are MORE THAN THEIR SEXUALITY, women are MORE than bodies. so much more.
the women/models/actresses who allow (no, invite) themselves to be objectified...I don't know how to feel about them either. a desire for holiness and purity can get mixed up with all sorts of envy and hatred and resentment pretty quick, towards women I don't even know...fallen, broken, lost women, just like me. do they not understand what they're doing? to others, to themselves?
I don't want to feel so grieved or angry like this for the rest of my life. but it can be so upsetting, so easy to feel hopeless. we as a culture, as people, are so far from where we're supposed to be.
sometimes I really do long for heaven. this oppressive mess can be so emotionally and psychologically tiring. when I'm "strong" enough to not feel emotional about things, it seems more like I'm just not engaged with it, nonchalant, passive. how to be engaged, concerned, yet at peace, humble, joyful? Lord, show me your heart in this. show me how to be me in way that is honoring to you. help me to cling to hope.
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